A New Mindset

The more I read about church history and how a lot of things were changed, altered or "whitewashed" to fit what's acceptable for present day devout church members, the angrier I get. I suppose "angry" is not completely accurate. I don't know what exact emotion I'm feeling but anger comes pretty close. Angry at being lied to and deceived for so many years. Angry at towing the "company line" of the church for so many years. Every aspect of what I believed was true for 18 years now has to be deprogrammed from my brain. I used to scoff at these studies that suggested that a glass of wine a day was actually good for you because of the anti oxidants. Ludicrous, I thought, because the Word Of Wisdom forbids the consumption of alcohol--of any kind. And the Word Of Wisdom I believe was the word of God revealed to his true church. Now I come to learn that was is ludicrous is not the wine drinking but the word of wisdom (WofW) itself. Something I have to relearn--a little alcohol in moderation is OK for you. I participated in a gift exchange last Christmas with some family members and got a set of different flavoured teas. It was a nice gift, packaged in a nice box, but I thougth "I'm never going to drink these teas, I'm not supposed to drink tea". So I gave the gift away to someone who will use it. I didn't get to enjoy my Christmas present because the WofW forbade tea drinking. I was OK with that at the time, now I'm just annoyed about it. I have to relearn that tea is not that harmful to the body. Last Hallowe'en my son got some Coffee Crisp chocolate bars in his treat bag. I thought "Oh, he shouldn't eat those, they have coffee in them and coffee is forbidden because of the WofW". Now when I see a Coffee Crisp bar or my son gets one in his Hallowe'en treat bag, I can eat it! No guilt. I'm changing my mindset little by little. I'm embarrased now to think of how many times I testified either in church or elsewhere that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that the Lord's church has been restored to the earth. I know now that's not true. I can't take back those words, but I feel like I've been perpetuating the lie and that kind so feels scuzzy. Everything that he taught as inspired counsel can be ignored because he was not a prophet. A new mindset--the world without a prophet on the earth to counsel us in our everyday lives. President Hinckley stated that the church stands or falls on the First Vision. Well now that we know that the First Vision was a lie, the church fall--obviously. So, new mindset--the world without the church that Jesus Christ led while he was on the Earth. There is no "true" church. Because of this, I don't have to do missionary work or temple work, or geneology (unless I want to), I don't have to pay tithing, or do home teaching or go to church on Sunday or go to a boring Priesthood meeting. Or watch Conference twice a year. I don't have to have FHE, I can spend time with my family when I want to do it. I don't have to read scriptures every day, either. I don't have to do any of these things because they were all part of the Mormon church and I'm no longer a member (spiritually at least). Now I can drink coffee and tea. I can drink alcohol (in moderation). I can watch R rated movies (if I want). I don't have to leaf through every book I pick up and look for signs of profanity inside. So I now have a new mindset about quite a lot of things, and I'm still figuring out the ramifications of that. This might take a while... Take care, J.T.