First Missionary Discussion Anniversary 20 Years

Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of my first discussion with the missionaries. On November 24, 1993 I opened my apartment door to two well scrubbed missionaries. I invited them in and they ended up giving me the first discussion that night. This is back in the day of the 6 discussions and you received a pamphlet after each discussion that kind of recapped everything that you were taught. I took these lessons very seriously. I read the pamphlets and studied the scripture references and "pondered and prayed" like we were asked to do. I liked what I learned. It all made sense to me. Everything seemed to fit together and was logical. I especially remember the Elders showing me the picture of Joseph Smith kneeling in the grove and seeing God the Father and Jesus Christ. It was wonderful! I believed it really happened. I was sure it happened. It was beautiful. Imagine a young farm boy seeing God and the Saviour! It was a miracle. Too bad that young boy turned into a manipulator, egomaniac and sexual predator when he got older. And started a church based on lies and deceit. Too bad he led a church that continues to lie and deceive its members with false doctrine and made up stories of it's history. I had no idea of this when the discussions were taking place. I often think back to those days and how different my life would be if I had declined the missionaries invitation to be baptized, which I was on Sunday December 12, 1993. I wouldn't have met my wife and have had a beautiful son, now 11. Basically I don't think I would have a family. I would be lonely and almost 50 years old. (I was 28 when I joined the church, I am now 48 and left the church in 2012) So being a member wasn't a complete waste of time and for that I can be thankful. J.T.

Moving On

It's been well over a year now since I left the LDS church and I am finally ready to leave it behind. I think I will still continue to post on here because if only one person reads this blog and comes to the realization that the LDS church is a fraud then I will be happy. The very nature of cults (and the LDS church is most definitely included) is that the members don't want to hear you when you try to tell them the truth. I know this because I was in that position not too many years ago. If someone wanted to sway me away from the church I would just ignore them. And convince myself that it was the adversary (Satan) who was influencing them. As that is what you are taught to do in the LDS church. They are convinced that anyone talking badly against the church is influenced by Satan and should be avoided. (I'm not making this up!) Well. I hope someone who feels lost and confused stumbles on this blog and gives it a read. I don't want to take away your faith in God or anything else. I do this truly out of love and concern. I have been freed from a dangerous religious cult and want to help others to do the same. My journey has been a long one and it continues... I posted recently that I'm waiting for the church to crumble. If it does, I will be watching from a distance. It would be too emotionally draining to be an active witness to the church's demise. Like I said, I will continue to post my thoughts on here to help people not get involved in a dangerous cult that is the LDS church. Take care, J.T.

Waiting On The Sidelines

Hey everyone who reads my blog, I feel that lately I've been waiting. Waiting for something. Something to happen. And I know something will happen, something big. I just don't know when it will happen. But it will happen. The LDS cult church will crumble. Maybe not in my lifetime. But it will happen. There is a tipping point, when more members of the church will think it's all bullshit and pack it in. And then where would the church be without all that tithing money **gnaws on knuckles** Well they have billions of $$ in investments, so they could survive for a few years. Heck, they only give general authorities $1 million when they become a general authority, so unless there's a sudden rash of deaths among the top 15 then they should be good for a while. I don't know, though, some of those old geezers must have one foot in the grave. Oh, the miracle of stage makeup. anyway, this post is getting kind of bitter so I'll end it here. But I'm waiting on the sidelines for something to happen. The church will eventually crumble. It's only a matter of when. take care, J.T.

I Just Can't Leave The Church Alone

I just can't do it. I've tried and tried over the last year and a half, but I just can't leave the church alone. I desperately want to, though. I'm no longer a member and don't live anywhere near Utah. None of my family is a member. I don't live near a chapel and none of my friends are members. But I find myself checking out the Postmormon site frequently. I don't know why I can't just leave it alone. It's like a drug. Why can I not just leave it alone? I think because it was such a big part of my life for so many years. I often wonder why I joined the church back in late 1993--yes 20 years ago. I think it was that it filled a void in my life. One I didn't know I needed filling. It gave me self confidence and made me feel important. But I don't need it anymore. It was all based on lies and deception. And that hurt me pretty badly, but you know what? I'm over that. It was my decision to join, no one was holding a gun to my head. But I can't blame myself anymore. It's over. But it won't be really out of my life for probably a few years. A few weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, I went to the grocery store to get a few things for dinner. On the way home an old friend from the local ward stopped his car and he and his companion got out and started talking to me on the side of the road. I haven't seen this man since I left the church early last year. He said he saw me walking and wanted to see how I was. I said things were fine. But the whole time we were talking I felt slightly embarassed I had a shopping bag in my hand. I shouldn't feel like that. I'm not a member of the church anymore. Those "rules" don't apply to me anymore. There's nothing wrong with shopping on Sunday (a BIG Mormom no-no is Sunday Shopping). But I felt embarassed nonetheless. Those are the kinds of things that will take a while for me to get over. Take care, J.T.