My Baptism 20th Anniversary

Last week, Thursday December 12, 2013 marked the 20th annivesary of my baptism into the Cult Church of Jesus Christ of LDS. And I'm moving on. Finally. I was going to write a book about my experiences and how I left the MORG, but you want to know something? I don't care about any of it. I am so done with the church. I'm finished. It's been a year since I resigned and I am finally done with all of it. Done with the PostMormon site, done with googling the church to find out the latest scandal, done with any kind of thought or reflection about my almost 20 years in the cult. As Christmas is upon us and the celebrations that come with it, I no longer have any ties to the church at all and I have no desire to hash it out why I left, or what led me to finally resign. Frankly, I could care less about the church or the reasons why I was a member and why I left. OK, so you're saying, "give it to us straight, are you really leaving it all behind?" And the answer is a resounding "YES!" Farewell, goodbye, THE END...

First Missionary Discussion Anniversary 20 Years

Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of my first discussion with the missionaries. On November 24, 1993 I opened my apartment door to two well scrubbed missionaries. I invited them in and they ended up giving me the first discussion that night. This is back in the day of the 6 discussions and you received a pamphlet after each discussion that kind of recapped everything that you were taught. I took these lessons very seriously. I read the pamphlets and studied the scripture references and "pondered and prayed" like we were asked to do. I liked what I learned. It all made sense to me. Everything seemed to fit together and was logical. I especially remember the Elders showing me the picture of Joseph Smith kneeling in the grove and seeing God the Father and Jesus Christ. It was wonderful! I believed it really happened. I was sure it happened. It was beautiful. Imagine a young farm boy seeing God and the Saviour! It was a miracle. Too bad that young boy turned into a manipulator, egomaniac and sexual predator when he got older. And started a church based on lies and deceit. Too bad he led a church that continues to lie and deceive its members with false doctrine and made up stories of it's history. I had no idea of this when the discussions were taking place. I often think back to those days and how different my life would be if I had declined the missionaries invitation to be baptized, which I was on Sunday December 12, 1993. I wouldn't have met my wife and have had a beautiful son, now 11. Basically I don't think I would have a family. I would be lonely and almost 50 years old. (I was 28 when I joined the church, I am now 48 and left the church in 2012) So being a member wasn't a complete waste of time and for that I can be thankful. J.T.

Moving On

It's been well over a year now since I left the LDS church and I am finally ready to leave it behind. I think I will still continue to post on here because if only one person reads this blog and comes to the realization that the LDS church is a fraud then I will be happy. The very nature of cults (and the LDS church is most definitely included) is that the members don't want to hear you when you try to tell them the truth. I know this because I was in that position not too many years ago. If someone wanted to sway me away from the church I would just ignore them. And convince myself that it was the adversary (Satan) who was influencing them. As that is what you are taught to do in the LDS church. They are convinced that anyone talking badly against the church is influenced by Satan and should be avoided. (I'm not making this up!) Well. I hope someone who feels lost and confused stumbles on this blog and gives it a read. I don't want to take away your faith in God or anything else. I do this truly out of love and concern. I have been freed from a dangerous religious cult and want to help others to do the same. My journey has been a long one and it continues... I posted recently that I'm waiting for the church to crumble. If it does, I will be watching from a distance. It would be too emotionally draining to be an active witness to the church's demise. Like I said, I will continue to post my thoughts on here to help people not get involved in a dangerous cult that is the LDS church. Take care, J.T.

Waiting On The Sidelines

Hey everyone who reads my blog, I feel that lately I've been waiting. Waiting for something. Something to happen. And I know something will happen, something big. I just don't know when it will happen. But it will happen. The LDS cult church will crumble. Maybe not in my lifetime. But it will happen. There is a tipping point, when more members of the church will think it's all bullshit and pack it in. And then where would the church be without all that tithing money **gnaws on knuckles** Well they have billions of $$ in investments, so they could survive for a few years. Heck, they only give general authorities $1 million when they become a general authority, so unless there's a sudden rash of deaths among the top 15 then they should be good for a while. I don't know, though, some of those old geezers must have one foot in the grave. Oh, the miracle of stage makeup. anyway, this post is getting kind of bitter so I'll end it here. But I'm waiting on the sidelines for something to happen. The church will eventually crumble. It's only a matter of when. take care, J.T.

I Just Can't Leave The Church Alone

I just can't do it. I've tried and tried over the last year and a half, but I just can't leave the church alone. I desperately want to, though. I'm no longer a member and don't live anywhere near Utah. None of my family is a member. I don't live near a chapel and none of my friends are members. But I find myself checking out the Postmormon site frequently. I don't know why I can't just leave it alone. It's like a drug. Why can I not just leave it alone? I think because it was such a big part of my life for so many years. I often wonder why I joined the church back in late 1993--yes 20 years ago. I think it was that it filled a void in my life. One I didn't know I needed filling. It gave me self confidence and made me feel important. But I don't need it anymore. It was all based on lies and deception. And that hurt me pretty badly, but you know what? I'm over that. It was my decision to join, no one was holding a gun to my head. But I can't blame myself anymore. It's over. But it won't be really out of my life for probably a few years. A few weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, I went to the grocery store to get a few things for dinner. On the way home an old friend from the local ward stopped his car and he and his companion got out and started talking to me on the side of the road. I haven't seen this man since I left the church early last year. He said he saw me walking and wanted to see how I was. I said things were fine. But the whole time we were talking I felt slightly embarassed I had a shopping bag in my hand. I shouldn't feel like that. I'm not a member of the church anymore. Those "rules" don't apply to me anymore. There's nothing wrong with shopping on Sunday (a BIG Mormom no-no is Sunday Shopping). But I felt embarassed nonetheless. Those are the kinds of things that will take a while for me to get over. Take care, J.T.

The LDS (cult) Church

Not much to report this month. Even though in my last post I mentioned that I was going to distance myself from the PostMormon site for a while that really hasn't happened. I don't go on there too much, just to see if there are any new developments. I'm afraid of missing some major development in the demise of the LDS cult church. I'm more convinced every day that the LDS church is a cult. The degree of manipulation of it's members is staggering. The church invades so many aspects of it's members lives in a negative way. The aspect of guilt is worth a post all it's own (I did do a post about guilt last year). So many stories on the postmormon site are about people who have been shunned and attacked by family members when they tell them they're leaving the church. Many are too scared to tell their families. These people are adults and should be able to make their own decisions, but they fear they will lose too much if they "come out" to their families that they no longer believe and no longer want to be a part of the "MORG". I'm very fortunate in that my family (wife and son) were the only family I had in the church and they willingly followed me out when I left in mid 2012. I can sympathize with these people, though. I KNOW that if I were in their position I would be scared as well to tell my family. This really bothers me, it bothers me a lot. If anyone needed any proof that the LDS church is a cult, this is it.

Update For August

Not much to report this month. I have 7 minutes before the end of August. I've been following PostMormon.org and am starting to get weary of all this church talk. I think I will leave it alone for a while. I was going to write a book about my experiences being LDS, but I think it would be best for me to just leave it for now. Don't know what else to say. Bye for now, J.T.

Dissension In The Church Leadership

There's an old expression "don't step in the leadership". This might well be the new motto of the LDS church. I recently read a story of a high ranking official in the LDS church in Europe who is currently having a crisis of his faith. This is wonderful news to us PostMo's. Could some of the high ranking church officials be finally starting to see the light? 

I'm convinced that some of them in Salt Lake already have seen the light but are turning a blind eye as they are too heavily engaged in the church and would have too much to lose ($$) if the truth ever came out. 

It's only a matter of time before the church will have a major crisis. I think it's already starting. This area authority in Europe was only trying to get answers from church leadership in SLC for some members in his area who had some questions. He was basically told to not bother with questions like that. This area authority was not able to get a straight answer from his superiors and went to the Internet to find answers. And find answers he did indeed!  

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I can sit on the sidelines and watch the church crumble from a safe distance. It's going to be one hell of a show!

The Church's Imminent Demise

Just thought I would check in for June. Not much has happened in the last while. I try not to think about the church too much.  I mainly go on the Postmormon website to see if any dramatic has changed in SLC.

One thing that did happen is I hooked up with a former missionary on Facebook. He lived upstairs from me back in 1997 while he was serving his mission. He had returned home from his mission, got married in the temple and had 3 kids. I just found out He's no longer going to church. I hope he resigns his name. The exodus from the church is continuing. As more and more people come to the realization it is a dangerous cult the exodus will continue. In this age of the Internet it's getting harder and harder for the church to cover up the lies and keep the real truth from its members. Something drastic has to happen in the church soon or it will crumble. I know it will. 

My own personal observation is that the same gender attraction debate and the church's stance on this subject will eventually lead to the church's downfall. It might take a long time but it will happen. 

I'm just glad I got out now so I can watch the fireworks from the sidelines. 

Live And Let Live

I'm back. I've been pondering the church and its effects on me since leaving last year. One thing the LDS church did for me was totally destroy my concept of God. I need to relearn everything from the ground up. Who is God?   Is there a God. Does he care about me? I have no idea

I went through a rebellious period after I left the church where I started drinking coffee and alcohol. Watched R rated movies and listened to music with language in it. Thru all that I realized a few things. A) I'm not that different after doing these things I'm still the same person. Only with a lot less guilt. B) I'm not a bad person because I do these things. C). I'm not (or try not to be) a judgmental person. The LDS church teaches not to judge. But they do. All the time. Every day. That's one thing about myself I like more since leaving the church. Live and let live is my new motto. 

A Thought For Easter

I try to post something every month on this blog. It's the day before Easter Sunday and I've been thinking lately about how the LDS church looks at the Christian holidays. Christmas and Easter specifically. Most Christian churches have special services for Good Friday and Easter, but not the LDS church. I always thought that was odd but never questioned it. There were so many "special" services throughout the year (conferences) that by the time these Christian holidays came around the church was too burned out to have a special service. Or maybe they thought if they pushed another "special" service on its members they might rebel. That would never happen though because the LDS never rebel. Against anything. So I don't know why they didn't have special Easter services. Well actually I do. It's because the LDS aren't really Christians.

And Something Else..,

Since I'm on the topic of absurd beliefs another one would have to be baptism for the dead. The LDS church believes that everyone needs to be baptized or they cannot "inherit the kingdom of god". Or in other words, get into heaven. This is a brilliant plan the church has, because where do you do these baptisms? In the temple of course. And how do to get the opportunity to go to the temple. With a temple recommend. And what do you have to do to get a temple recommend? Pay tithing of course. Everything is centered on the temple because you need to be a full tithe payer to go there (among other silly requirements). The main activity in these temples is, you guessed it. Baptisms for the dead. And once they are baptized then you have to do their endowments for them. For DEAD people. Come on, really? But I believed it for many years and I baptized lots of dead people and did endowments for many dead people. And yes I do realize how ridiculous that sounds. But it didn't think it was ridiculous when I was a member of the LDS church. I thought it was a perfectly normal thing to do.
Now don't go thinking "holy crap, you dug up dead people and took them to the temple!" No there were no graveyard raids sorry to tell you. We did the baptisms and endowments in proxy. In the temple we would get their names and do the ordinances for them.
That would be kinda cool though. Digging up corpses and baptizing them. The LDS church is a master of making the ridiculous sound perfectly normal but I don't think even they could pull that one off.

Things I Can't Believe I Believed In...

I was reading the PostMormon site again tonight and something caught my attention. Someone mentioned how absurd some of the church's beliefs are and I got to thinking...how I used to believe some of most of this crap. Take the Word Of Wisdom. I followed it to the letter for years. I never drank a drop of alcohol or coffee/tea. Everyone was under the impression that it was the caffeine in the coffee. But there is caffeine in cola drinks and they weren't prohibited. Coffee and tea were called "hot drinks" but hot chocolate is a hot drink and its OK. Iced tea was not allowed but it was not hot it was cold. Talk about convoluted nonsense. One of the top health concerns today is not alcohol or caffeine. It's sugar. Pop is loaded with sugar and poses a serious health risk. But there's no mention of that in the word of wisdom. If it was so "inspired" as a health code there should be some mention of it. But there's not. Like I said. Convoluted nonsense. And I believed it for many years.

New Year Without LDS

Well it's a new year. 2013 is the first year since 1992 without the LDS church in my life. (Granted, most of 1993 was without it. I joined on December 12 of that year). My resolution this year is to try and forget about the church. That will be difficult. Maybe a better resolution would be not to forget because I will never forget, but resolve instead to leave it alone. I've already decided to stop going on the postmormon website. I need to put the church behind me and move on. I don't know where this year will lead. Not sure if I will go to another church or not, but the journey will be an interesting one, that is certain.