I Just Can't Leave The Church Alone

I just can't do it. I've tried and tried over the last year and a half, but I just can't leave the church alone. I desperately want to, though. I'm no longer a member and don't live anywhere near Utah. None of my family is a member. I don't live near a chapel and none of my friends are members. But I find myself checking out the Postmormon site frequently. I don't know why I can't just leave it alone. It's like a drug. Why can I not just leave it alone? I think because it was such a big part of my life for so many years. I often wonder why I joined the church back in late 1993--yes 20 years ago. I think it was that it filled a void in my life. One I didn't know I needed filling. It gave me self confidence and made me feel important. But I don't need it anymore. It was all based on lies and deception. And that hurt me pretty badly, but you know what? I'm over that. It was my decision to join, no one was holding a gun to my head. But I can't blame myself anymore. It's over. But it won't be really out of my life for probably a few years. A few weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, I went to the grocery store to get a few things for dinner. On the way home an old friend from the local ward stopped his car and he and his companion got out and started talking to me on the side of the road. I haven't seen this man since I left the church early last year. He said he saw me walking and wanted to see how I was. I said things were fine. But the whole time we were talking I felt slightly embarassed I had a shopping bag in my hand. I shouldn't feel like that. I'm not a member of the church anymore. Those "rules" don't apply to me anymore. There's nothing wrong with shopping on Sunday (a BIG Mormom no-no is Sunday Shopping). But I felt embarassed nonetheless. Those are the kinds of things that will take a while for me to get over. Take care, J.T.

The LDS (cult) Church

Not much to report this month. Even though in my last post I mentioned that I was going to distance myself from the PostMormon site for a while that really hasn't happened. I don't go on there too much, just to see if there are any new developments. I'm afraid of missing some major development in the demise of the LDS cult church. I'm more convinced every day that the LDS church is a cult. The degree of manipulation of it's members is staggering. The church invades so many aspects of it's members lives in a negative way. The aspect of guilt is worth a post all it's own (I did do a post about guilt last year). So many stories on the postmormon site are about people who have been shunned and attacked by family members when they tell them they're leaving the church. Many are too scared to tell their families. These people are adults and should be able to make their own decisions, but they fear they will lose too much if they "come out" to their families that they no longer believe and no longer want to be a part of the "MORG". I'm very fortunate in that my family (wife and son) were the only family I had in the church and they willingly followed me out when I left in mid 2012. I can sympathize with these people, though. I KNOW that if I were in their position I would be scared as well to tell my family. This really bothers me, it bothers me a lot. If anyone needed any proof that the LDS church is a cult, this is it.

Update For August

Not much to report this month. I have 7 minutes before the end of August. I've been following PostMormon.org and am starting to get weary of all this church talk. I think I will leave it alone for a while. I was going to write a book about my experiences being LDS, but I think it would be best for me to just leave it for now. Don't know what else to say. Bye for now, J.T.

Dissension In The Church Leadership

There's an old expression "don't step in the leadership". This might well be the new motto of the LDS church. I recently read a story of a high ranking official in the LDS church in Europe who is currently having a crisis of his faith. This is wonderful news to us PostMo's. Could some of the high ranking church officials be finally starting to see the light? 

I'm convinced that some of them in Salt Lake already have seen the light but are turning a blind eye as they are too heavily engaged in the church and would have too much to lose ($$) if the truth ever came out. 

It's only a matter of time before the church will have a major crisis. I think it's already starting. This area authority in Europe was only trying to get answers from church leadership in SLC for some members in his area who had some questions. He was basically told to not bother with questions like that. This area authority was not able to get a straight answer from his superiors and went to the Internet to find answers. And find answers he did indeed!  

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I can sit on the sidelines and watch the church crumble from a safe distance. It's going to be one hell of a show!

The Church's Imminent Demise

Just thought I would check in for June. Not much has happened in the last while. I try not to think about the church too much.  I mainly go on the Postmormon website to see if any dramatic has changed in SLC.

One thing that did happen is I hooked up with a former missionary on Facebook. He lived upstairs from me back in 1997 while he was serving his mission. He had returned home from his mission, got married in the temple and had 3 kids. I just found out He's no longer going to church. I hope he resigns his name. The exodus from the church is continuing. As more and more people come to the realization it is a dangerous cult the exodus will continue. In this age of the Internet it's getting harder and harder for the church to cover up the lies and keep the real truth from its members. Something drastic has to happen in the church soon or it will crumble. I know it will. 

My own personal observation is that the same gender attraction debate and the church's stance on this subject will eventually lead to the church's downfall. It might take a long time but it will happen. 

I'm just glad I got out now so I can watch the fireworks from the sidelines. 

Live And Let Live

I'm back. I've been pondering the church and its effects on me since leaving last year. One thing the LDS church did for me was totally destroy my concept of God. I need to relearn everything from the ground up. Who is God?   Is there a God. Does he care about me? I have no idea

I went through a rebellious period after I left the church where I started drinking coffee and alcohol. Watched R rated movies and listened to music with language in it. Thru all that I realized a few things. A) I'm not that different after doing these things I'm still the same person. Only with a lot less guilt. B) I'm not a bad person because I do these things. C). I'm not (or try not to be) a judgmental person. The LDS church teaches not to judge. But they do. All the time. Every day. That's one thing about myself I like more since leaving the church. Live and let live is my new motto. 

A Thought For Easter

I try to post something every month on this blog. It's the day before Easter Sunday and I've been thinking lately about how the LDS church looks at the Christian holidays. Christmas and Easter specifically. Most Christian churches have special services for Good Friday and Easter, but not the LDS church. I always thought that was odd but never questioned it. There were so many "special" services throughout the year (conferences) that by the time these Christian holidays came around the church was too burned out to have a special service. Or maybe they thought if they pushed another "special" service on its members they might rebel. That would never happen though because the LDS never rebel. Against anything. So I don't know why they didn't have special Easter services. Well actually I do. It's because the LDS aren't really Christians.