The Future...

Like I stated in my last post, the LDS experience has left me questioning the whole facet of organized religion. In the past, I scoffed at people who had this view saying they just didn't have the spirit or weren't "enlightened" enough because I thought I was so damned enlightened. I thought I had this superior knowledge above what the average person had. I had the gospel of Jesus Christ and the "truth". I would've shared with you my profound knowledge if you had asked me and you could then be admitted into this special "LDS club". Then you would feel that you now had this superior knowledge. To have been deceived, manipulated, defrauded, and lied to in such a spectacular fashion and on such a large scale has left a very bad taste in my mouth towards religion in general. Do I believe in God? I think so. That may sound like a juvenile or a vague answer, but I really and truly don't know right now. I think there may be a supreme creator but he sure isn't anything like what I've been taught he was like in the LDS church. If there is a God I don't blame him for the mess I got into. That's all my fault. Does he guide my life? Not sure. I don't feel that he does very often if he does at all. Is he a kind and loving God? Don't know that either. There's an awful lot of pain and suffering in the world. Would there be even more if he didn't intevene in at least some of it? I don't really know. Can he intervene? Don't know that either. Does he love me? Not even sure about that. Does he answer prayers? I'm sure he does--sometimes. There are a lot of beautiful things in the world as well. Would there still be beautiful things without a God. I don't know. To say I will never go to church or fully believe in God is a bit premature. I'm still recovering from the LDS Experience and likely will be recovering for a long time, so I can't make any of those kinds of decisions right now. We'll see in another year or so. I've grown up with a belief that there is a God. So that's 47 years with this opinion. I won't abandon it so easily. Take care, J.T.